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We only give what we think we deserve
And that's something to believe in
Created on 2002-05-07 11:03:05 (#552092), last updated 2009-07-14
13,213 comments received, 10,583 comments posted
Paid Account [Gift]
4,470 Journal Entries, 123 Tags, 854 Memories, 400+ ScrapBook Files, 2 Virtual Gifts, 37 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | A darling little idiot |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1980-01-02 |
| Location: | Binghamton, New York, United States |
Contact:
valancystirling@livejournal.com BioThis journal is full of my musings, rants, daydreams, and daily boring nonsense. I write about things I care about, and things that happen to flit through my mind. Right now the things i care about, and therefore write about include:
~my little girl, Topaz
~my little boy, Philip
~my husband Jake
~breastfeeding
~clothdiapering
~homebirth
~food local and organic
~living and spending consciously
~parenting (I lean toward attachment parenting)
~health and green living
~knitting, though I think about this considerably less than I used to when I had more time.
I've been trying to please other people all my
life and failed...after this I shall please
myself. I shall never pretend anything again.
--The Blue Castle, L. M. Montgomery
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
- C. S. Lewis
~~~~
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here'.
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
~~~~
...
But in my head
there's some shelves that need cleaning from basement to ceiling, control
...
If what you're seeing is an open book
that's great cause I'm an open book
but I'm real shy
There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing to open up
that's strange cause I'm an open book
...
I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people
my heart while in its cage is used to give and not receive a thing
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice
...
--Blue October
But yeah, who are the people you hang around with?
Who are the ones you're gonna call?
When you feel like ending it all?
--Blue October
Sometimes you are paralyzed with indecision. You can't bring yourself to choose any one future because to choose one is to forsake the promise of all others. Yet not choosing is making you crazy. In such a state, drastic action is necessary. You must choose--and then, one by one, murder all the futures you passed over. Like a faithful companion you've cherished all through your youth, you must lead each future back behind the shed, and even if it looks up at you with those big eyes, dreamy with possibility, you must put the cold muzzle to its head and pull the trigger. And you must do it again and again for each future that competes for the attentions of your heart. Only then are you ready for commitment. Only then can you pursue the one thing which will, in time, and after much mourning, become all things to you.
The future is full of possibilities that I must shoot in the head.
--Andrew Boyd
Don’t be down when my demeanor tends to disappoint
It’s hard enough even trying to be civil to myself
Please forgive me for my distance
The pain is evident in my existence
--Fiona Apple
It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.
--Sharon Salzberg
Isn't it queer: there are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before; like the larks in this country, that have been singing the same five notes over for thousands of years.-O Pioneers by Willa Cather
But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope. ~ No evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from. ~ It is never too late to be what you might have been. George Eliot
~~~~~
~~~~~
JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted.
Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be
taught. Always looking at people's flaws and
weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and
productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive
and has deep thoughts.
Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless
excited or tensed. Rather
reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses
but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love.
Loves children. Loyal.
Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very
Stubborn and money cautious.
What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla
~~~~
This journal is mostly friends-only.
*Color Quiz Results:
Your Existing Situation: Unwilling to extend herself or exert undue effort. Feels that further progress requires more from her than she is willing or able to give. Would prefer reasonable comfort and security rather than the rewards of greater ambition.
Your Stress Sources: Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that she may miss her share of experiences if she fails to make the best use of every opportunity. She therefore pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity and commits herself deeply and readily. Feels herself to be completely competent in any field in which she engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.
Your Restrained Characteristics: Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on whom she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.
Your Desired Objective: In despair and needs relief of some sort. Wants physical ease, a problem free security, and the chance to recover.
Your Actual Problem: The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of illusory or meaningless activities.
Your Actual Problem #2: Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.
~my little girl, Topaz
~my little boy, Philip
~my husband Jake
~breastfeeding
~clothdiapering
~homebirth
~food local and organic
~living and spending consciously
~parenting (I lean toward attachment parenting)
~health and green living
~knitting, though I think about this considerably less than I used to when I had more time.
Get your own Family Sticker Maker & MySpace Layouts.
I've been trying to please other people all my
life and failed...after this I shall please
myself. I shall never pretend anything again.
--The Blue Castle, L. M. Montgomery
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
- C. S. Lewis
~~~~
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here'.
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
~~~~
...
But in my head
there's some shelves that need cleaning from basement to ceiling, control
...
If what you're seeing is an open book
that's great cause I'm an open book
but I'm real shy
There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing to open up
that's strange cause I'm an open book
...
I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people
my heart while in its cage is used to give and not receive a thing
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice
...
--Blue October
But yeah, who are the people you hang around with?
Who are the ones you're gonna call?
When you feel like ending it all?
--Blue October
Sometimes you are paralyzed with indecision. You can't bring yourself to choose any one future because to choose one is to forsake the promise of all others. Yet not choosing is making you crazy. In such a state, drastic action is necessary. You must choose--and then, one by one, murder all the futures you passed over. Like a faithful companion you've cherished all through your youth, you must lead each future back behind the shed, and even if it looks up at you with those big eyes, dreamy with possibility, you must put the cold muzzle to its head and pull the trigger. And you must do it again and again for each future that competes for the attentions of your heart. Only then are you ready for commitment. Only then can you pursue the one thing which will, in time, and after much mourning, become all things to you.
The future is full of possibilities that I must shoot in the head.
--Andrew Boyd
Don’t be down when my demeanor tends to disappoint
It’s hard enough even trying to be civil to myself
Please forgive me for my distance
The pain is evident in my existence
--Fiona Apple
It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.
--Sharon Salzberg
Isn't it queer: there are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before; like the larks in this country, that have been singing the same five notes over for thousands of years.-O Pioneers by Willa Cather
But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope. ~ No evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from. ~ It is never too late to be what you might have been. George Eliot
~~~~~
~~~~~
JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted.
Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be
taught. Always looking at people's flaws and
weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and
productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive
and has deep thoughts.
Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless
excited or tensed. Rather
reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses
but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love.
Loves children. Loyal.
Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very
Stubborn and money cautious.
What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla
~~~~
This journal is mostly friends-only.
*Color Quiz Results:
Your Existing Situation: Unwilling to extend herself or exert undue effort. Feels that further progress requires more from her than she is willing or able to give. Would prefer reasonable comfort and security rather than the rewards of greater ambition.
Your Stress Sources: Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that she may miss her share of experiences if she fails to make the best use of every opportunity. She therefore pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity and commits herself deeply and readily. Feels herself to be completely competent in any field in which she engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.
Your Restrained Characteristics: Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on whom she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.
Your Desired Objective: In despair and needs relief of some sort. Wants physical ease, a problem free security, and the chance to recover.
Your Actual Problem: The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of illusory or meaningless activities.
Your Actual Problem #2: Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.
ConnectInterests (150):
absurdly happy fiction, acceptance, accountability, angry chick music, anne of green gables, anticipation, art, attachment parenting, beauty, being pseudo intellectual, being silly, beth orton, bitching, bjork, blue october, boondock saints, boston, breastfeeding, cambridge, champagne, chocolate, clarity, clothdiapering, coffeehouses, colors, comfort, compassion, concerts, contentment, contradiction, cooking, creative profanity, davis square, daydreaming, discovery, dreams, emotions, empathy, exploration, expression, fiona apple, flowers, foreign films, fulfillment, galveston, gardening, glamour, growing my own food, guinness, happy endings, health, herbalism, holland, homebirth, honesty, hope, houston, humour, ice cream, idealism, identity, infj, introspection, intuition, ireland, irish accents, irony, ithaca, justice, kids in the hall, king of the hill, knitting, kurt vonnegut, l. m. montgomery, laughing, learning, lifehouse, literature, locavore, logic, love, making fun of idiots, making fun of pseudo-intellectuals, making people laugh, matchbox twenty, mbti, meaning, meaningful conversation, mexican food, moonlit nights, movies, music, natural childbirth, new beginnings, niles crane, openness, organic, over-dramatizing everything, passion, peace, pennywhoring, perspective, philosophy, picnics, pina coladas, pissing people off, planning, playing, possibility, pretentious bastards, prince edward island, purpose, quiet, reading, realism, reality, red meat comics, responsibility, road trips, sade, san francisco, sarcasm, saying fuck a lot, scrubs, self-control, self-discipline, self-respect, shakespeare, shiny things, silliness, silly people, someday cafe, spinning, stargazing, taking control, the blue castle, the office, the simpsons, thinking, thinking too much, travel, travel writing, traveling, truth, understanding, waldorf, whining, wisdom, writing, yoga
External Services:
 | valancystirling@livejournal.com | |
 | sol_gal |
Schools:
Huggins Elementary School - Fulshear, TX (1985 - 1989)Memorial Parkway Middle School - Katy, TX (1991 - 1992)
B.F. Terry High School - Rosenberg, TX (1996 - 1998)
Friends [View Entries] Friends (52):
aighmeigh, albadore, aldenmacrae, aliyna, andtripsmakesix, arianadii, assfdsf, bleppo, bluemoonchild, breakableheart, brightsoul, cleverwench, cpmcdill, darkenedminds, divacentric, doggereler, enoelie, euphrasie, fi, gingerkat, glaukopis, isoldereverie, jewelsvs, kitchenwitch, knitta, loki_quinn, mmmgirl, nalidoll, nickittynic, ocainte, ophelia427, ophelias_hope, ophelias_song, paquerette, protocalypso, qtipgirl, raincour, rambert, shannon28, silverade, skinnyfi, sorcha, spoothbrush, startoucher, taber09, thiscantbesoy, valancystirling, vaysha, velvar, wanderingwoman, xenedra, xetra
Mutual Friends (46):
aighmeigh, albadore, aldenmacrae, aliyna, andtripsmakesix, arianadii, assfdsf, bleppo, bluemoonchild, brightsoul, cleverwench, cpmcdill, darkenedminds, divacentric, doggereler, enoelie, euphrasie, fi, gingerkat, glaukopis, isoldereverie, kitchenwitch, knitta, loki_quinn, mmmgirl, nalidoll, nickittynic, ocainte, ophelia427, ophelias_hope, ophelias_song, paquerette, protocalypso, raincour, rambert, shannon28, silverade, skinnyfi, sorcha, spoothbrush, taber09, valancystirling, vaysha, velvar, xenedra, xetra
Also Friend of (33):
aistritheoir, anannananna, asianbritney00, ataxicangel, bushwackr, bustedslinky, cers_kid, dearcarrie, dmg519, dylanashes, firemaiden74, givmeaquietmind, helenkosings, imagine77, km0rey88, kylegirl, ler, littlearts, lonesomepioneer, lush_ious, mad_elanor, marelis, mcnally32, njaradi, odin_rose2003, pixelspaniel, rakshita, separated_mind, sidhartha, suddenbeauty, sweet_fa, teebee2e, valancyjane
Communities [View Entries] Watching (69):
advanced_knit, altparent, apothecarium, attachedparents, baby_stuff4sale, babysales, babywearer_sale, binghamton, birthbabeoption, blueoctober, breastfeeding, candida_diet, candidiasis, classmates, clothdiapering, comein_closer, cooperations, crunchy_sales, crunchycrunch, delaying_vax, denver, fiberarts, fully_flowered, g0babyg0, granolamommies, handspinning, herbal, holistic_parent, holisticparents, homebirth, homebirth_, homebirthstory, homeschooling, idealists, imaketoys, irelandaddicts, knit_challenge, knit_design, knitswap, lj_coop, midwifery, moms, natural_beauty, natural_skin, naturalfamily, naturalmed, naturalpregnant, naturalskin, news, nov2005babies, oh_darcy, organic_garden, paidmembers, parenting101, pollanesque, preg_directory, rawfamily, realisticparent, sing_the_bones, the_masters, thenaturalspa, trustbirth, veggie_recipes, vintageknitting, waldorfians, wearable_art, wehatelilychin, wholefoods, yarncycle
Member of (103):
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