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We only give what we think we deserve

And that's something to believe in

Name:
A darling little idiot
Birthdate:
2 January 1980
This journal is full of my musings, rants, daydreams, and daily boring nonsense. I write about things I care about, and things that happen to flit through my mind.

I've been trying to please other people all my
life and failed...after this I shall please
myself. I shall never pretend anything again.
--The Blue Castle, L. M. Montgomery


If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

- C. S. Lewis

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Sometimes you are paralyzed with indecision. You can't bring yourself to choose any one future because to choose one is to forsake the promise of all others. Yet not choosing is making you crazy. In such a state, drastic action is necessary. You must choose--and then, one by one, murder all the futures you passed over. Like a faithful companion you've cherished all through your youth, you must lead each future back behind the shed, and even if it looks up at you with those big eyes, dreamy with possibility, you must put the cold muzzle to its head and pull the trigger. And you must do it again and again for each future that competes for the attentions of your heart. Only then are you ready for commitment. Only then can you pursue the one thing which will, in time, and after much mourning, become all things to you.
The future is full of possibilities that I must shoot in the head.
--Andrew Boyd

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.
--Sharon Salzberg

Isn't it queer: there are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before; like the larks in this country, that have been singing the same five notes over for thousands of years.-O Pioneers by Willa Cather

But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope. ~ No evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from. ~ It is never too late to be what you might have been. George Eliot

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